The turkey is roasting in the oven and the potatoes are getting peeled. Aunt Leslie is already two bottles of wine deep and ranting about how much money her house’s remodel is costing her. Sorry Uncle Harlan, doesn’t look like you’ll be retiring anytime soon. Thanksgiving is the greatest. Besides of your family’s dysfunction and weirdness, what else is being served up for the feast? Well, buds, I’m glad you asked because we’re serving up, and ranking, the 10 most important foods you can find at any Thanksgiving feast.

 

10. Roasted Carrots: How do I say this politely while still getting my point across, UM BYEEEE! Some people ::cough cough cousin Amy:: try to make sugar glazed carrots happen for Thanksgiving… no, just no. Carrots were meant to be served with chicken wings and a bowl full of cool ranch dressing. Anything other than that is straight up blasphemy to this should-be crunchy veggie.

 

9. Brussel Sprouts: Love to hate them, or hate to love them, people don’t really have neutral feelings when it comes to these mini balls of cabbage. Oven roasted brussel sprouts with bacon and candied pecans will probably sway any nay-sayers, but until they taste this little spot of savory-ness, the verdict is still out.

 

8. Apple Pie: You know the saying, there’s nothing more American than apple pie. But what about chicken fried steak? Chicago-style pizza? FRITO PIE?! Sometimes the crust is too crusty, and sometimes the apples don’t bake all the way through. When made right, apple pie is a slice of heaven, but when it’s dried out you’ll be in desperate need of a gallon of vanilla ice cream to balance it out. Get your apple pie perfectly on point while you get baked AF with our edibles recipe: Danksgiving Apple Pie.

 

7. Cranberry Sauce: Ahh, the great cranberry sauce debate! Some like their cranberry sauce in a gelatinous form, cut into circles and sporting textured can indents around the perimeter, while others prefer it all zested, saucy and made from scratch. There is really no right or wrong choice here, you like what you like. I only care that you slather your dinner rolls and turkey in it. The secret's in the sauce *wink wink* - try out our edibles recipe: Danksgiving Cranberry Sauce.

 

6. Mashed Potatoes: You never know what an artistic visionary you are until a giant helping of mashed potatoes is plunged on your plate. Watch out, it’s a gravy volcano! Add some peas to the glob and you’ll have a creepy face staring back at you – AHHH! Velvety and buttery, mashed potatoes may make you extremely full, but they’ll also provide endless entertainment.

 

5. Turkey: Could the should-be star of the T-Day main event be ranked #1 if dear ‘ol dad remembered to put the oven timer on when mom asked? Probz. You never know what you’re going to get when the bird is hauled outta the oven and carved up. If it’s dry, the whole table will be fighting over gravy, if it’s juicy and moist, the turkey will go down in family history as the turkey all other turkeys need to live… errr, roast?... up to. Read our edibles recipe and get basted: Danksgiving Roasted Turkey.

 

4. Gravy: Gravy is the lifeline of Thanksgiving. Just when you think you’ve had enough, pour a little bit of gravy over your fork full of food and VOILA — your taste buds will be reinvigorated and your mouth will be ready for more nom nom-ing. Smother your turkey in it, pour it all over the leftovers sandwich you’ll be making for the next few days, or chug it with a swirly straw for all I care. Just make sure there’s enough to go around! Get saucy by making our edibles recipe: Danksgiving Gravy.

 

3. Stuffing: Whether half-assed ::all eyes on you, Stove Top:: or homemade, stuffing will always be the tasty little side piece that makes all the other fixins jealous. Bread soaked and smothered in butter and juices… YES, PLEASE! Check out our edibles recipe: Danksgiving Stuffing.

 

2. Pumpkin Pie: It’s pumpkin spice everything season so you better heavy up before it’s gone. Take the biggest piece and go back for seconds, scooping up all the whipped cream so no one else can have it – we dare ya. Get baked this Thanksgiving and try out our edibles recipe: Danksgiving Pumpkin Pie.

 

1. Vapor: You have to spend your day smiling and nodding at kooky AF relatives. You have to pretend to luurrrrvvve Grandma Mildred’s dry blondie bars that she makes for every single family gathering. You have to talk about the state of the economy with your cousin’s new boyfriend. You had better believe that pure, tasty portable vapor is the most important and delicious thing at the table.

 

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